Kuro no Fuyu Ch.3

Chapter 3: Confessions of the Heart

There are moments in every ones life that bring about great change, moments that bring about either happiness or despair to the person the change is happening to. These are defining moments that decide and challenge the person that test more then often their character, or their strength to take what ever the world hands them and make the best of it they can. The moment your mother shows you a robe made of fire rat fur you dad had made for you ("Momma! This is too big!"), the moment you decide you would rather have your hair long and not let your mother cut it ("I hate it short it make my head feel funny"), the day you learn to use chopsticks for the first time, then say your fingers work better (Momma look! The rice is little ants!). The first time you are insulted by someone for what you are, the night you watch your mother submit to illness and the only person in your life is gone forever, then you are run out of the village and know you will never see it again. The day you find out you have a half brother and the very same day find out he wants nothing to do with you since you a "Half Breed". The day you break puberty and become a mute for three weeks so your so called serevnt won't make fun of your voice sounding like a squeaking bird, the day as a teenager you hear of a jewel that can finally take away the hate since it can grant any wish, then go to the village to find the jewel protected by a miko woman. Your first crush on a girl, the day you make plans to spend the rest of your days together. The day you see your love point an arrow at you and you steal the jewel, are pined to a tree, then are woken up to find a girl that looks like you lost love and that fifty years had passed.

The day your lost love is returned to life.

The day you start to notice a growing affection towards the girl you're traveling with, but are still confused about your first love.

The days you start insulting the girl to hide your feelings.

The day you first act upon your feelings and scream for her not to die, then find out it was just the fox fire of the Kitsune boy you took in and not their souls.

The day you and her are stranded in a snow storm and you're the only one who can save her.

Your second kiss with her.

The day that for she saves you from a snow storm, and are now asking her the question you never wanted to ask for fear of getting hurt again.

Changes that define what our life will be like depending on how we take on the change and the challenge, Inuyasha stood with Kagome staring at him; her brown eyes filled with puzzled confusion as she looked the Hanyou boy robed in fire rat fur, his golden eyes glowed in the dimness of the dojo, taking on the current life challenge of weather this girl would say yes and have him take on the future were he and her might get married and start a family. Or she would reject him and leave him with them just being friends and he found a different girl which for him was very slim to none. Those eyes; they seemed to glow with an un readable emotion, as if he was hoping she would give the answer to his un asked question. He was looking at her with a warm tenderness that she had often caught him directing at her when she was trying to sleep at night, his eyes would look as if he was so deep in thought that he didn't notice the girl of his current thoughts was awake and caught him watching her sleep. What was it that Inuyasha wanted to talk about? Was he mad about sleeping next to them in their state of dress the other night? Was he just angry that he had to depend on the help of a girl to keep him from dieing from the cold? Was he really that pride full that he would die before asking for help even if it was a girl? These thoughts brought pain filled tears to her eyes.

He was starting to panic, one minute she was happy and complaining about how they were going to digging out of the dojo. Now he watched as confusion, wonder, and then doubt fill her warm brown eyes before those eyes began to swim with un shed tears. Why was she crying now? She wasn't hurt was she? He didn't smell any blood or saw any sign of injury from what he saw, thinking fast he held her close again trying to calm her down. He couldn't stand when she cried; he never did like it when women cried. He hated to see her upset or sad, it remained him of when his mother would lay in bed weeping whispering his fathers name thinking her little boy was asleep, but he was wide awake every time and would wish there was someway to make her happy. Those nights he knew his mother might feel guilty of her son seeing her cry, so he would wait until she cried herself to sleep then crawl into her bed and snuggle up to her as if to tell her that one small piece of her long dead husband was with her, her only child with her husbands glittering silver hair, golden eyes and his unique charming little dog ears.

"Kagome please stop crying, what did I do?" he asked in a worried tone, he sat down taking her with him and sitting her in his lap. Sniffling he felt her rest her cheek on his chest before speaking, her voice shaky from crying, "Are you mad at me?" Inuyasha shocked pulled her away from him and looked in her eyes, "Why would I be mad at you?" he said calmly, he wasn't mad at her in the least, she hadn't done anything but save his life which he was more then grateful for. Years ago if he had been in the same situation as a pup, any other human would turn their nose up at him and walk away, and any demon would simply see him as a easy meal or a way to further remove the hated taboo race of Hanyou's from the earth. "Are you…are you mad at me for…the other night?" Kagome asked calming down slightly when she saw the panic and confusion leave the boys eyes to be replaced with what looked like…gratefulness, he was grateful to her?

"Why would I be angry with you about that? If it wasn't for you I would be dead by now" he said wiping away the traces of tears away with his thumbs, deciding to lighten the mood a little he spoke again, "I guess I could also consider it pay back for seeing you naked that time" he said hearing the young girl in his arms give a small laugh, he smiled, he liked her laugh, he liked it even more when it was him making her that happy. "I think you already got pay back, remember when Jaken stole the Tetsusaiga and you and Miroku passed out in the hot spring?" she asked blushing at the memory, Inuyasha snickered blushing a bit at the memory of Kagome seeing him in all his glory that time. He had, had worst things to worry about years ago and right now in his present besides people seeing him, although it did make him blush to know that a girl he had a crush on had seen him, not even Kikyo had seen him nude. Kagome had been the only girl he had ever gotten flustered at her seeing him.

"Well at least after all the times you saved me, I got to repay you" he heard her say feeling her smile against his robe, "But I want to protect you, you don't have to repay nothing" he said softly. He felt her calm down before she spoke "If your not angry about the other night then…what is it you want to talk about?" she asked, Inuyasha felt the heat return to his face and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat at the question. He would not let this get him un nerved! He had fought demons of all shapes and sizes with variose abilities; he had even fought the Dark Priestess who had been working under Naraku, he had fought his full blooded half brother Shessomaru many times and while getting gapping wounds to cuts and scratches lived to face another day. He had survived for 17 years of his life before meeting Kikyo of hatful humans and demons, the years before his teens had been years full of fear, hatred, and anger.

He had lived through all that surely he could handle voicing his feelings to Kagome, he opened his mouth before clapping it shut again making his fangs and teeth click upon shutting, "Inuyasha?" he asked wondering what was taking so long to speak. He was getting annoyed with himself; this one girl could make him come apart at the seams easier then anyone he had ever met, or anyone that he was lucky enough to get to talk to him. He mentally shook his head, right now at a time where he wanted to go into his future with Kagome at his side if she said yes was not a time to bring up moments of the past. He swallowed again and spoke his voice lightly shaky and nervous sounding. "Um…Kagome what am I to you?" he asked first wanting to be sure there was a chance that she would say yes, he wouldn't be able to bear it if he asked right now plain and out if she liked him more then a friend and she said no. He felt Kagome playing with his fire rat robe and could feel the heat from her blush, "Well, you can be a little arrogant and bad tempered" She said feeling him stiffen but she smiled.

"But…"

But?

"I know your heart is in the right place, you're normally angry when I get in danger mostly because you're worried about me. Your really sweet under your tough guy act, you're a good friend" she said not knowing what she said had made the Hanyou's face glow a bright hue of red, if it was possible it might have been permanently stained that color. He had now gotten what she saw of how he acted, but she had said he was her friend. Was she saying that simply because she was embarrassed about voicing something else? Something he wanted to hear from her right then, "I…I meant do you like me…as more then just a…friend…" there he had said it, he had set out the question, although it wasn't the actually way he wanted to ask it but… "What do you mean?" she asked. If she wasn't in his lap he would have fallen to the floor, why was the gods making this difficult as hell! Did they like terrorizing people like this! That was it, he had to say it plain a simple and lay it out in front or her, no more beating around the bush it wasn't working and he was getting further annoyed at himself for even trying that tactic.

"I mean do you…love me" he asked his throat feeling scratchy and dry as he spoke, his face close to turning purple from blushing so deeply. "Oh" Kagome said sounding surprised by his question, but Inuyasha could hear something else besides the expected blush that had stained her cheeks and could possibly challenge Inuyasha's. Why is he asking me that? Does he…could he actually? Kagome's lack of an answer made his ears droop, did she not feel the same way? A forlorn look clouded his golden eyes, "You…have another you want to be with then?" he asked hoping he wouldn't make a bigger fool out of himself in front of her. Kagome's eyes widened and she held him firmly to her incase he tried to make a run for it, she knew how he would react to this type of thing. "Inuyasha why? I mean why are you asking me that? Don't you want to be…with Kikyo?" she asked, the resurrected miko known as Kikyo had been a knot in their relationship for quite sometime; after being resurrected and wandering around Feudal Japan for a while she had been found sleeping in a tree near the well, she had bound Kagome to a tree with her soul collectors, then forced Kagome to watch as Inuyasha spilled his soul out to her. Weeping Kagome had watched as the former couple embraced one another, the reunion became something toward a more negative purpose.

Kikyo had tried to drag Inuyasha down into hell with him under some kind of spell, Kagome had gotten him out of it and he had jumped away out of Kikyo's grasp and noticed Kagome bound to the tree. The other time Kikyo had tried to kill Kagome however she had never told him what happened even after Inuyasha had asked her countless times after the incident, in time he had figured out himself that Kikyo had tried to hurt Kagome, why else would Kagome keep something like that to herself if it wouldn't upset him; the idea of his former love trying to kill or harm Kagome was indeed a painful thought, and it made old wounds of old feelings bleed. The next time was when Inuyasha found Kikyo in the woods by the well not too longer after he had learned of Onigumo and Naraku's connection. He had yelled after hearing that Naraku might have sick ideas about Kikyo and said he was the only one who would protect her and that he didn't care how she felt about him now, he had held her to him while she struggled until she calmed and drew a dagger at him barley missing him as she floated away, Kagome had been nearby and had seen what had happened, Inuyasha had noticed her and before he could say anything other then her name the girl ran for the well.

"I…I don't love Kikyo" Inuyasha said in a low whisper, he felt the girl in his arms move to look at him but he held her closer to him. "What me and her had all those years ago…for me it was love…but she…she couldn't see passed my mixed blood enough to feel anything other then friendship for me" he felt her grab the material of his robes tighter in her hands, "Kikyo, the one on this earth is a shell of grave soil and clay that is harboring the hatred she held for me…after Naraku attacked her looking like me" Inuyasha said with an unreadable look in his amber eyes. Kagome listened silently to him; she couldn't dare herself to hope that from all that he was saying was not a dream, she could wake up right now on the cold floor of the dojo with Inuyasha being his normal arrogant self. It could all be some cruel dream that was showing her a daydream she allowed herself to float around in when she was relaxing in her room in her time, or in her sleeping bag in this time when she couldn't fall asleep. Those daydreams were in many different forms, of her and Inuyasha sitting under the God Tree enjoying each others company, of them in her time in her room just talking about little things or just goofing around. Through her thoughts she continued to listen to Inuyasha talk.

"Kikyo, the Kikyo I once knew fifty years ago is gone from this world" he felt her take hold of his own and give a gentle squeeze, smiling he squeezed back "I was so desperate to save you when that snow storm hit that day, I was scared I was going to lose you…I…I love you" he hugged her tightly nuzzling her hair. Kagome sat there in shock before what the Hanyou had said fully hit her He…he loves me, Inuyasha loves me! , unable to contain herself she pushed into him careful of his half healed wound and succeeding in surprising him and making him fall back into the wall. "Ouch Kagome!" Inuyasha said, but no anger was present in his tone of voice, just playfulness could be heard in his comment. But Kagome just continued to hold him in a hug and soon felt Inuyasha's own arms wrap around her, and felt him rest his head on her own. Still holding her he leaned his back onto the wall, right now to content to do much of anything simply other then hold the girl he had so long wished to hold and voice his feelings to. Kagome shyly moved her hands up his back threading her fingers in his silver hair along the way before reaching his ears and firmly but gently began scratching them "I love you to Inuyasha" she said smiling, "Kagome" he moaned softly as a purr escaped his throat, she felt his hold on her give slightly and felt his weight shift slightly into her. Kagome giggled as she felt his foot begin to twitch lightly, but it sped up after she found a sensitive spot in the middle of his ear close to the base.

I can defiantly get use to this … Inuyasha felt Kagome's hands release his ears and he gave a small whine, "Sorry Inuyasha but we really have to get out of here and get back to the hut, we need to dig my back pack out of the wreckage and the others will be worried about us" Kagome said getting up. Inuyasha came out of his daze and got up as well and un sheathed Tetsusaiga, Kagome stood as far away as she could knowing what was to come in order to dig a trail through the snow as fast as possible. "WIND SCAR!" Inuyasha screamed slashing his sword through the air as a blast of energy shot from the sword to the ground; the energy blasted away a long trail in the snow. After several more blasts from the Tetsusaiga's Wind Scar there was a clean path walled by snow leading to the outside of the dojo, Inuyasha came back into the dojo to tell Kagome that the path was done and the two began walking from the place that had sheltered them through the harsh blizzard that had blown just the other night, now only a very gentle snow fall.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome called out, the Hanyou turned to face her.

"What?"

Kagome smiled innocently before walking up to him, and kissing him.

"Love you"

Inuyasha wrapped his arms around her and returned the kiss, then held her close as the little flurries of snow danced around them in the chilly winter breeze.

"Love you too"